WHAT TO DO IN FEBRUARY: Part 1

If you are reading this blog entry from New England, you get it.  It's freezing.  It's so cold that  you don't even want to wake up, or change out of your pajamas, or sit on a toilet, or take a shower, or get in your car and actually move enough to put on your seat belt.  I don't have to sit here and tell you that there's a lot of snow out there, but just look at it.  It's not going anywhere.  It's black and dirty.  Those shitty chunks that fall out of the wheel wells and undercarriages of vehicles are all over the road.  And speaking of roads, it's like car-slalom out there with these potholes.  And can you hear that noise in the distance that sounds like a bomb about to drop?  That's the resale value of our salt-covered vehicles plummeting due to this winter wear and tear.  But I'm being hypocritical because I'm sick of people talking about snow.  It's like going to a stranger for your haircut in the middle of a heatwave and having them say "hot enough for ya??"  I've always hated that.  I've had the same barber for years so I don't have this problem, but whenever I hear the obligatory weather convo starter at the barber shop, my toes crinkle up and I cough awkwardly. 
OK,  I've said my piece about the snow.  It's here.  It sucks.  I don't ski.  I don't skate.  And I'm too old to sled.  And this is the worst time of year for sports.  It's no coincidence that Sports Illustrated puts out the swimsuit issue in February.  The Super Bowl is over and March Madness is in, well...March.  So what's a young man like myself supposed to do besides pretend like I care about American Idol?  I have a few ideas...stay tuned...