KARAOKE PASSION

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Chris singing Babe by Styx:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgGl6JNQ3rg

I realize it's not the Rihanna-based Billerica rica rica eh eh video (who IS that guy??), but I hope you appreciate the harmonies, the 80s Ross Geller/David Schwimmer keyboard playing,  

and of course-the bongos.  Was my singing perfect?  No, I was a little pitchy.    Could I have made it to Hollywood on Idol?  I like to think so. I have since expanded my karaoke repertoire to include other challenging songs.  However you will NEVER hear me singing any of the following:

Toby Keith-"I love This Bar" (not anymore!)
Bob Segar-"Old Time Rock n Roll"
Billy Joel-"Piano Man"(another reason to hate Ben Rapelburgers)
Kid Rock-"Cowboy"
John Cougar(is it cougar this week or just Mellencamp?) Mellancamp-"Jack and Diane"
Meatloaf-"Paradise by the Dashboard Light"
John Travolta and Olivia Newton John-"Summer Nights"
Journey-"Don't Stop Believing"
Neil Diamond-"Sweet Caroline"
      
Hey Neil!  Probably not a good move to wear that stupid coat while performing at Fenway.  That's where the Red Sox play.  In fact, the Brooklyn Dodgers don't play anywhere.  And you're grossly overrated as a song writer and as a vocalist.  Now go roll around in all of your money.  Thanks. 
                                         
Bonnie Raitt-"Something to Talk About"(let's talk about how terrible you just sang!)
Gloria Gaynor-"I Will Survive"  (but my ears may not!)
Garth Brooks-"Friends in Low Places" (not after choosing this song!)
Joan Jett-"I Love Rock and Roll"  In fact, these songs make me temporarily HATE rock and roll.

Don't get me wrong: I enjoy karaoke as an escape for those of us who never made it to the big stage.  But for for the love of Pete have some originality.  I'm sick of seeing 4 middle aged ladies up there belting out Black Velvet or wasting away again in Margaritaville all the time.  Turn some heads once in a while.  This is your moment.  Choose a cool tune and  be proud of who you are. We're all watching you so hug that microphone, hit a few notes we didn't think you could hit, and goddamn it for those 3 minutes, be somebody.